Age: 23
Occupation: Medical Student
Hometown: Sugar Land/Houston, TX
1. Can you talk a bit about your relationship to Islam? (background, understanding of Quran, strictness of practices)
Religion was always important to my family growing up. My parents have done a lot to teach me and my brother about Islam. We grew up hearing Hadith and stories of the prophets. We took weekly Quran classes starting around third grade to learn to read Arabic and eventually the Quran. Islam and its teachings are a common topic of discussion with my family and extended family.
Through my family’s influence and through my own exploration of Islam as I got older, I would say I’m a fairly practicing Muslim. I pray 5 times a day, fast during Ramadan, try to be generous and charitable, and do my best to abide by other guidelines Islam sets for behavior. I can’t say I delve into Quran and translations as frequently or deeply as I’d like to, but I do see it as both a comfort and a guide.
2. How does culture influence your religious practices and understanding of Islam? (Country of origin, View of family members)
My parents are immigrants from Pakistan, which is obviously a Muslim-majority country. I do think religion and culture become intertwined and difficult to separate when you’re from an area that is predominantly Muslim. I did have to do some of my own research or have discussions with my non-Pakistani Muslim friends when I wasn’t certain if some practices or beliefs were grounded in religion or culture. I’m specifically thinking of attitudes towards women. Pakistan has ways to go in terms of gender equality, and I think some people try to justify the current disparities in education or work with Islam. But based on what I know of Islam, that’s really unfair. Islam encourages everyone - regardless of gender - to seek knowledge. I think these attitudes about gender differences and disparities are really based on history and culture.
3. What are the biggest influencers of your decision to cover or [not cover]?
I grew up learning about Islam from women who did and did not cover. My mom did not wear hijab until two years ago. Some of my aunts and cousins do, some don’t. Some of my Quran teachers growing up did, some didn’t. For me, wearing a hijab or not wearing a hijab has never been a large determinant of my faith. I feel like my relationship with Islam is more determined by what I feel internally and how I act. I pray and I fast and I recognize God in different aspects of my life, and I think that those are really spiritual experiences that strengthen my deen (faith). Personally, I’ve never truly viewed wearing a hijab as one of those things. I know that a lot of women do, and I completely understand and respect that, but I guess it’s never been that way for me.
To my understanding, the Quran tells both men and women to “wear a veil of modesty,” but I never interpreted this as the Quran asking women to literally cover their hair. I don’t wear hijab, but I dress modestly and I try to behave modestly. To me, that is my “veil of modesty.” I see wearing a hijab as a choice, and I know for some of my hijabi Muslim sisters, it is a choice that brings them closer to their faith and to other Muslims. I think that’s great for them, but for me, the choice has never carried that kind of weight or appeal.
4. Have you experienced discrimination based on your choice to cover or not? Could you describe such discrimination?
I’ve overall been fortunate in that I have not experienced much discrimination. At Rice, some of my best friends came from the Muslim Student Association. It was a pretty even split amongst the girls in terms of who wore hijab and who didn’t. For the most part, our group was truly open to learning about Islam and life from each other. My hijabi friends did not view the non-hijabi girls as “less Muslim” or less qualified to speak about Islam.
Though the majority of my experiences have been overwhelmingly positive, I can recall small instances where I felt a bit belittled for not wearing hijab. It’s kind of difficult to put into words, but I can remember a few comments by hijabi sisters that made me feel like my experience of Islam was not as important or meaningful as theirs. These moments were tricky because I do see Islam as a very important part of my life. At the same time, though, I completely recognize that I’m not carrying the burden that my hijabi sisters are. Because they are visibly Muslim, there’s sometimes expectations from Muslims and non-Muslims that they represent Islam, and this adds a lot of everyday pressure.
5. Does seeing violent hate crimes against hijabi women have any impact on your decision? How do you adjust your choices based on witnessing hate crimes? How do you feel when you hear Muslim women were targeted for wearing hijab?
Hearing about hate crimes against hijabis makes me feel sick to my stomach. The initial pain is for the women themselves. Nobody deserves to experience violence. Nobody deserves to be discriminated against for their identity and stereotypes that they are obviously not responsible for. The next thing I feel is fear for my family and friends who do wear hijab. I know that these crimes could have been targeted towards them, and even the thought is too much to bear.
When I hear about these hate crimes, I feel guilt for not being visibly Muslim. I’m not living with constant fear of being attacked for my identity. Through conversations with my hijabi friends and family members, I know they don’t have this luxury. In our time of rising Islamophobia, wearing a hijab carries a new weight.
I don’t think hearing about hate crimes consciously shapes my decision, but it does give me a strange mix of relief and guilt about my choice not to wear hijab.
6. Is there anything that would make you change your decision to cover or not cover?
At the moment, I can’t really think of anything.
7. How do you view other Muslim women who cover? How do you view Muslim women who don’t cover?
I think that I - like a lot of people - have an internalized initial tendency to view hijabi women as more pious than non-hijabi women. But my experiences have taught me that there isn’t really a strong correlation. I have had many conversations about faith with my hijabi and non-hijabi friends, and we all go through similar things. We all have questions, and each of us struggles with different aspects of faith. Hijabi women are not necessarily more informed about Islam. Some of my most pious friends don’t wear hijab. I think it’s unfair to make assumptions on either end.
8. How do you feel when you hear people say that covering is a sign of oppression? What is your perspective of countries or mosques that do require a woman to cover?
I think it’s wrong for countries or cultures or families to require women to cover. When the choice is stripped away, that is oppression. But the way the majority of people practice Islam, hijab is certainly not oppression. I think the beauty of hijab actually stems from the fact that it is a choice. I know my hijabi friends and family members definitely don’t see their hijabs as oppressive. They see their hijabs as bringing them closer to their faith and their communities. Overall, I don’t really see hijabi women as different from non-hijabi women - or non-Muslim women for that matter.
9. Do you feel the need to defend Islam when mainstream media attacks it? If so, how?
I do feel the need to defend Islam amidst these attacks, but I’m really trying to question and challenge that need. Muslims should not feel responsible for defending themselves or their religion based on the actions of a few extremists or rogue attackers. Attacking Islam for their actions is unfair. In a way, Muslims rushing to defend Islam in these instances kind of gives validity to these attacks.
10. Many people suggest that Muslim and American identity are incompatible. What do you think of that?
I strongly disagree. To me, the American identity is an extremely heterogenous one. Though mainstream media didn’t show us this when I was growing up, I think a lot of people are coming to recognize this. I don’t think being Muslim makes me any less American. I love this country and the opportunities it has afforded me. And I love it enough to be passionate about social reform through the democratic process. I also don’t think being American makes me less Muslim. This country has a robust and diverse Muslim population, and it is among this population that I am learning what it means to be Muslim.
11. How do you feel your Muslim identity has been accepted or rejected (whether in childhood, at Rice, in med school, in professional settings)? Have you had difficulty aligning your social life to your culture?
I’ve been fortunate to always be in diverse settings. I grew up in Sugar Land, which is in one of the nation’s most diverse counties. Both Rice and Baylor College of Medicine are also very diverse. My peers in these settings were definitely primed to interact with and learn from people of different backgrounds. People have been overall really accepting of my Muslim identity. Like I said earlier, since I don’t wear hijab, I’m not recognizably Muslim - except maybe by my name. So in professional settings, it often does not even come up. And my friends don’t see my Muslim identity as something that makes me “other.” They often just use it as an opportunity to ask questions about Islam that stem from genuine curiosity. I might not eat with them during Ramadan and I’ll turn down alcoholic drinks when we go out, but other than that, being Muslim has not really affected my social life. I think my non-Muslim friends and I have a lot more in common than not. We we laugh at the same jokes, we stress over the same things, and we experience the same emotions. In college and especially in medical school, we share these experiences that transcend individual identities. I don’t think being Muslim or non-Muslim really changes that.
What sect of Islam do you and your family practice?
Sunni Islam
In response to is there anything that would make you change your decision to cover, could you maybe shed light on your mom's decision to cover recently (if that's too personal that's totally fine, just creates more nuance)?
My mom had been considering starting to wear hijab for a few years. She waited because she just wanted to be sure about the decision. She didn't want to start wearing it and then change her mind - I think both because it would be confusing for her and also for what others might say. I actually don't think her wearing hijab makes me any more or less likely to change my mind.
Have you ever been to mosques in the United States that require covering and, if so, how is that experience?
You always cover when you pray, so I do cover when I go to the mosque. I don't know if it's like a technical "requirement" set by the mosques but when people go to the mosque, they are going to pray, so they do cover. I guess I don't think too much of it because you're going for a spiritual experience - not so much a social one.